I can't believe I haven't used this blog in over three years! I'm not going to try and catch you up on all that time, but I will endeavor to use this more frequently.
My life has been a bit of an e-ticket ride, but the events
of the last two weeks have been a bit more than normal. There were exhilarating
highs and excruciating lows back-to-back, and I have been processing those
events. I tend to use FB to both update friends and memorialize events; a
living diary if you will. But sometimes life is experienced at a breakneck
speed with no ability to pause and reflect. Fortunately, I have the time now.
If you are so inclined, get comfy and read on.
The month began with the celebration of an impending event. I posted photos and received a huge outpouring of support. It felt like friends came out of the woodwork to offer congratulations and I was humbled and touched. A few days later I posted a heartbreaking event and all of those friends showed up again to offer support and condolences. I was again humbled and touched. I was also struck by the realization that people show up if you offer them the opportunity. It’s a challenge in the age of social media to let people in at your lowest moments. Sharing the good stuff is easier. So, I wanted to say thank you to everyone for showing up on my worst days as well as my good days. It was unexpected because I am my own worst critic.
I had the opportunity to take a road trip to Los Angeles for
a combination work and graduation trip. The solitude gave me time to think but
very little time to grieve, which in retrospect was a good thing. I always knew
losing Maggie would put me in a tailspin. Had I not had the trip to L.A. to
focus on I would have been lost. The
drive was breathtaking and tiring. The moment I crossed the border to California
my soul seemed to breathe easier simply because I was home.
The work portion of the trip was a yeoman's effort but so
much fun at the same time. I was fortunate to have an unexpected dinner with an
old friend. We have been friends since first grade and drifted apart over the
years. At dinner, she gave me a gift I didn't know I needed – a rekindling of
our friendship and the knowledge that drifting apart wasn't personal. Over the
years we were out of touch I have often wondered what I did or said that caused
the friendship to end abruptly. Remember, I am my own worst critic so I
expected it was about me. Surprise! It
wasn't.
I celebrated another amazing high, in my hooding ceremony on
May 11. This marked the official granting of my doctoral degree. USC was my
dream school from a young age. For
decades the idea of completing not one, but two degrees was unfathomable. My
master's graduation didn't sit with me as well as it should have. Yes, I was
proud of my accomplishment, but I let my perceived failure at not achieving the
goal I set for myself rob the joy of the moment. This time when I walked the
commencement stage I was filled with emotion. There was joy, pride, relief, and
accomplishment. I worked my tail off for this degree, not only trying to write
a dissertation that would make an impact but with a GPA that left no room in my
mind to question the validity of the diploma. I have a hard time accepting accolades
as being deserved. Like I said, I am my own worst critic. I was wildly celebrated and made my Mom burst
with pride.
On my drive home I had the privilege of meeting a dear
friend from high school and her mom, who is also a dear friend, for lunch. The
years since we have seen each other melted away in one heartfelt hug. We
laughed and caught up on decades of life, shared stories of our kids, and
talked about our futures. It was time I treasure and I didn't want to leave. We
have a date on the calendar to begin talking about creating a mini-reunion
among a small group of friends next Fall.
I can't wait. Now if I can just
talk her into meeting for lunch again that doesn't involve a 10-hour drive…who
am I kidding, I'll drive 20 hours to see her!!!
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