The second man who taught me much about business came many years later at 30. He wasn't supposed to be my boss, but I campaigned him for the job, and eventually he gave in and coordinated the move from my current position to working as his assistant.
He was, to most people in the office, intimidating. For the first few weeks his gruff demeanor intimidated me. We had a rocky start, but eventually found our groove and he taught me many things. The business aspect was a given, but he taught me about management, managing office politics, how to pick your battles, and how to work with difficult people. There was nothing I couldn't ask him, and I asked a lot. I once brazenly asked him why he kept a certain manager. He didn't like him, none of the staff liked him. None of it made sense. He leaned back in his chair, tossed his glasses on his desk and said, "You know sometimes I ask myself that question. Turns out I have an answer. He does the XYZ report. I hate the XYZ report. If he weren't here I'd have to do it and I don't want to, nor do I have the time to work on it." From that point on I understood the manager's purpose. I didn't have to like him, but he had his uses; when others would complain and assume that the executives were blind, I could clarify without giving away details (and with permission) and soothe ruffled feathers.
That was one of the biggest lessons I learned as his assistant. How to work with someone you didn't like without being a hypocrite. He told me once I had to be civil, I didn't have to be nice and I didn't have to pretend. Just be civil and professional. That lesson has served me well all these years later. He taught me about management practices, and compassion in business. I learned ethics and protocols. I learned that loyalty and integrity were part of who I am and they were two things that I should never lose. He showed me how being rewarded didn't always have to mean money and that sometimes money wasn't everything.
I learned to take my cues from him. Eventually people needing things from him would ask me first how to approach him or how to handle the situation. I always gave guidance and if they listened, paid attention and followed my instruction the outcome was almost always what I predicted and what they wanted. I knew his likes and dislikes, when to push and when to back off, how and when to ask to get what I needed. I learned that when you ask is sometimes more important that what you're asking for. Long after I quit working for him I learned one final thing, that he valued what I did for him.
Just before I left to move on to other things I told him why he never intimidated me. He reminded me of someone equally gruff, my dad. I always though of my dad as a toasted marshmallow. When I told my boss that he was a toasted marshmallow, he smiled and I swear I saw a glint of a tear in his eye. He made me promise not to tell anyone. I couldn't keep the secret, so I told the office mafia, of which I was a part. I think the four of us are still the only four that know.
I miss him, I'm grateful to him and I still think he is the best man and the best boss I ever worked for. I can honestly say I wouldn't be where I am, with the success I've had without him and his guidance. I don't think he knows the impact he had on me. I think I'll send this to him. I'm sure it will get sent back full of red marks for all the errors and changes that need to be made. And that's okay, just another lesson to be learned.
